Candlelight Memorial

"As long as we live, they too shall live,
for they are a part of us,
As we remember them."

Each year, Families and Friends holds a candlelight vigil for the loved ones of homicide victims during the holiday season when the loss of loved ones is so keenly felt and holiday traditions so irrevocably changed. We join with survivors in love and remembrance by lighting a candle in their memory, celebrating their lives and remembering each of them in a special way.

At our Candlelight Remembrance held December, 2006, several family members shared poems and letters about their loved ones and we published them here for you. We, and those who wrote their deepest feelings, hope they bring you some comfort during difficult hours and seasons.

Butterfly

The time has come for me to release you
Free to fly high above this world.
Where the flowers forever bloom &
The ultimate love fills this space.

In my attempt to try and keep you
I’ve only been able to hold the anger
Not realizing that I have to let you go
I can’t hold on.
I’ll no more keep your pain alive,
I won’t try to hold you down.
I’ll let you fly on to higher ground.
My grief has left a numbness
As if this isn’t real
You are in my heart forever,
But I know I have to let you free.
Soar high.
Laugh as a child that feels the joy of the moment.
Play among the rivers flowing through the hills.
Roam the fields of daisies.
Fly to the top of the mountains.
With eyes closed, I see you among the flowers,
High above the clouds.

Your presence blows through me with the breeze.
Your smile beams down on through the sun.
The full moon brings the light of your laughter to my mind.

And the Butterfly in all its splendor reminds me
Of your beauty and freedom now.
Leaving your love for me lingering in my world.

Author unknown

IF I KNEW…It would be the last time

If I knew….it would be the last time; I’d see you fall asleep
I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew…it would be the last time; I’d see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more.

If I knew…it would be the last time; I’d hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew…it would be the last time; I’d spare an extra minute to stop
And say “I love you” instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew…it would be the last time; I would be there to share your day,
After all I’m sure you’ll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there’s always tomorrow to make up for oversight,
And we always get a second chance to make everything just right.
After all, there will always be another day to say "I love you,"
And certainly there’s another chance to say our "Is there anything I can do?"

But in case I might be wrong and today is all I get,
I’d like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget.
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you’re waiting for tomorrow…why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes, you’ll surely regret the day,
That you didn’t take that extra time for a smile, a hug or a kiss,
Because you were too busy to grant that loved one, what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today, and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them, and that you’ll always hold them dear.

Take time to say "I’m sorry",
"Please forgive me",
"Thank you" and "It’s ok"
And if tomorrow never comes, you’ll have no regrets about today.

For tomorrow may be too late,
We are not the ones who determine our fate.
Because after all, tomorrow becomes today;
And it may be too late to say!

Anonymous

My friend, I care

Don’t tell me that you understand,
Don’t tell me that you know.
Don’t tell me that I will survive,
That I will surely grow.

Don’t tell me this is just a test,
That I am truly blessed,
That I am chosen for this task,
Apart from all the rest.

Don’t come at me with answers,
That can only come from me.
Don’t tell me how my grief will pass
That I will soon be free.

Don’t stand in pious judgment
Of the bonds I must untie.
Don’t tell me how to suffer
And don’t tell me how to cry.

My life is filled with selfishness,
My pain is all I see,
But I need you and your love
Unconditionally.

Accept my ups and downs,
I need someone to share,
Just hold my hand and let me cry,
And say "My friend, I care".

Natalie Erickson

Love Never Ending

Memories and reflections of years gone by,
When you were young and only knee high.

They creep in my thoughts and bring great joy,
The constant reminders of days gone by.

Time has a way of moving so fast,
If I could just turn back the clock and make it last.

Some of the paths had many detours and errors,
Others you mastered with strength and character.

There are times I picture your face in a dream;
When I awake it all seems so real.

The hurt and the pain will always remain.
When I awake it all seems so real.

The hurt and the pain will always remain.
With strength and love I will somehow sustain.

The years have a way of softening the blow.
I will never forget, because I love you so.

Mom
By Alice Vermillian

A Letter to Danny

Dear son, today I have made a decision. Today I will put aside the grief, pain and anger I have felt because of your murder.

Today I will remember the joy and happiness felt by two families the day their first grandchild was born.

Today I will remember the bright and confident little boy I sent off to his first day of kindergarten.

Today I will remember the day you used a lead line for your kite and blew out the power in the neighborhood. When I told you for the umpteenth time: How can you be so smart and do such dumb things.

Today I will remember the teenager we called the pied piper. How all the small children and animals loved you and followed you around.

Today I will remember the day of your high school baccalaureate how you were so excited that you walked around our car, got into your car and backed into our car.

Today I will remember the pride we had in a young man who had made the Army his career and vowed to be the best company 1st sergeant ever.

Today I will remember your wonderful sense of humor and be grateful for the 31 years you were with us.

Love Mom
Marlene Dahlgren